we're living in a den of thieves..

It seems that no amount of audible, repetitious reasoning can make me feel less nervous about my first semester's finals at Drury.

Although I am very fortunate that I only have to take three, they are of course in my three hardest classes and I have two in one day.

But this is not so much to worry about..

The main issue is campus life. I'm so thankful to have met a few sweet girls and the time I have spent with them is precious and I hope that it continues, however.. exposure to yet more of the disappointment that is the human race has begun to bring me down. Okay, that may be a bit harsh. Still...

I'm so ready for the holidays, which are all happiness and light (hopefully, barring any over-zealous family discussions) and I am in serious need of the peace they will provide, badly and urgently.

As a kid and a teenager, I was a total under achiever; a belief that God has a will for my life has changed that a lot. I want to be and do everything that I can, but I am only one little person. A girl who is still growing up and finding who she is, exploring the world, and will likely be in that same state for a long remainder of time. For this reason I really hope to do well this semester, so that I will gain confidence - something I strode into university with at first, but has slowly diminished over the past few months. Part of maturity is realizing what you don't know, which turns out to be.. well, almost everything.

I pray for God to be my hope, be my encouragement, and my shelter. Provide me with the strength to persevere through stressful times. Help me not to let other people steal away my identity. Your love and grace flood over me.

and it's contagious...

p.s., I miss you brother.

Things That I Keep Meaning to Tell You..

I can't believe I never posted more than two things to this blog.

I'm going to act like I do this all the time, is that all right? Of course it is...

15 minutes until Thanksgiving, and I'm running a list of my head of things to say I am thankful for at the table. But since I'll probably save myself from rambling on and forcing everyone to wait yet longer for their feast, I had better just list them all here to save their ears.

I am daily thankful for the chance to have the education that I want. My first semester at Drury has been a challenge, but I have made progress, met some great people (Sara, you are a dream!) and I'm going to Japan for a study abroad program in the spring. It's hard to believe that I am in college, that all of my parents' children are now grown and that someday soon even I shall be out of the house.

I'm thankful for my family, most of all. That remains one of the more popular statements to make, but that is something to be thankful for in itself - that there is love, and that it exists in our lives. Lately I have been thinking a lot about the dynamics of family, what constitutes a family, and why they are important. How wonderful and sometimes painful it can be to have your life wrapped up inside the lives of other human beings. I thank God that I am not isolated, that I have family and friends to love and be loved by, that they support me and that I can support them. What a blessing to see God's love come out in relationship with other people, and his plan for us all.

I sound like Tiny Tim.

Oh! I am so thankful for the holiday season! My schedule for the rest of this month into the end of January is already full and I am excited for the opportunity to see, well, everyone! California family, Andrew, Grandparents (especially the Texas ones..), Melissa who is in Mexico right now, and Alex! Finals week gives me stress but I know I'll make it through, and what amazing things I have to look forward to!

I'm also thankful for material things that I can see, taste, touch, smell, and ... read! Everything from nature to fashion to crafts and books has been inspiring me lately, and I can't wait to get some free time to complete a few projects:

1. My night table that is currently half-painted, and I would have completed by now but the wind has been picking up in the Ozarks these past few days, and I haven't had a chance to paint without all of it blowing into my face.

2. Letters for Africa team members - mainly Josh, my main squeeze- my goal is a large number and I'm hoping my creativity will carry me through! Traditional letters are great but there are only so many things to say pertaining to one trip.

3. Christmas presents, both creating them and shopping for them. I always want to get this done early but a few special things have been difficult to get to thus far. I shouldn't pressure myself so much, after all it's only Thanksgiving.

4. Random sewing/drawing projects that are too diverse to name, including some much necessary moc-making.

Whew! I need to make shorter posts... like say, one photo and one thought? Yeah, maybe tomorrow.