Monday, February 16, 2009

Second Post, Already?

Alas I must post this to make way for another one.
Because there are just way more than 21 things to be thankful for in this life.

21 Things to be Thankful for - February 2009

1. Weird, interesting music played late on Friday nights on NPR

2. Going birthday party in an old sweater whilst listening to Rocky Votolato’s Makers album

3. Laughing so much my tummy aches

4. The way listening to Fischerspooner makes me feel like I’m in a modern version of Tron

5. Special diet cheesecake with berries

6. The support of those closest to me

7. Scribbles in Moleskines

8. Cleaning out my closet

9. Singing “Pencils in the Wind” with Meli

10. Hummus, Baba Ganoush, and the best pita bread I’ve ever tasted

11. Indian music, old and new

12. Hearing Bill McGlaughlin delight in his love of classical music - with the wonderful accent of my homeland

13. Early Valentine’s flowers from my dad

14. New cereal bowls bought especially for the purpose of consuming Life cereal

15. What seems to be the re-popularization of tie-dye (not the nasty, Joe’s Crab Shack tee shirt kind though.)

16. My warm cosy bed I enjoy hiding tucked away inside

17. Squirreling away moneys for my California trip

18. Magazines of modern fiction

19. Having more ideas swirling around my brain than I can deal with or put on paper - and the energy to put some of them into motion

20. Joshua Daniel Copeland

21. Writing up lists.

Time Increasing Time

Not knowing where to go with this very first post, I suppose I will just say everything that I know.
First off, I do not know why I started this.
Secondly, I will use it anyhow.

This semester has been a total reverse from the last:

Last year I worried constantly, rushed around, felt inadequate at all of my responsibilities, fought with those I loved, and lost who I was.
The only thing that kept my imagination alive was anecdotes from school and work.
I was fueled by ramen.
I lost track of my relationship with God.
I felt ill a lot of the time.

Thankfully I was given a new beginning - I was fired from my job.
It had been a long while that I was feeling out of place, not only inadequate but unhappy. I saw it coming. I considered ending it myself, but did not want to give up or disappoint anyone.  Everyone I had originally enjoyed working with left and I realized the job itself was just not enough. Customer service is not my forte.Nor was it what I had expected my happy little job to be. I remember the relief I felt, calling my mom and telling her "It is over, can we meet for lunch?". 
I kept feeling like I should be disappointed, but I was not. 
I was tremendously happy and free.

And since then things have been a lot better. I am not one of those people who thinks that working is "not for me," because that is foolish. The truth is that I want to be happy doing whatever I do, even if it is something somewhat meaningless. 
I kind of miss straightening bottles and cashiering at Wholesale. Cashiering is fun for me.
But I do not miss staring at a computer all day, clicking in and out, or folding the same t-shirt twenty times.
It feels good to have written that. I had to, really, because I have been thinking about losing the job several times a day. 

My present circumstances will be posted at a later date.