First off, I do not know why I started this.
Secondly, I will use it anyhow.
This semester has been a total reverse from the last:
Last year I worried constantly, rushed around, felt inadequate at all of my responsibilities, fought with those I loved, and lost who I was.
The only thing that kept my imagination alive was anecdotes from school and work.
I was fueled by ramen.
I lost track of my relationship with God.
I felt ill a lot of the time.
Thankfully I was given a new beginning - I was fired from my job.
It had been a long while that I was feeling out of place, not only inadequate but unhappy. I saw it coming. I considered ending it myself, but did not want to give up or disappoint anyone. Everyone I had originally enjoyed working with left and I realized the job itself was just not enough. Customer service is not my forte.Nor was it what I had expected my happy little job to be. I remember the relief I felt, calling my mom and telling her "It is over, can we meet for lunch?".
I kept feeling like I should be disappointed, but I was not.
I was tremendously happy and free.
And since then things have been a lot better. I am not one of those people who thinks that working is "not for me," because that is foolish. The truth is that I want to be happy doing whatever I do, even if it is something somewhat meaningless.
I kind of miss straightening bottles and cashiering at Wholesale. Cashiering is fun for me.
But I do not miss staring at a computer all day, clicking in and out, or folding the same t-shirt twenty times.
It feels good to have written that. I had to, really, because I have been thinking about losing the job several times a day.
My present circumstances will be posted at a later date.
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